Quick Tips on How to Write Loneliness

Loneliness is a universally shared emotion that shapes the psyche of your characters and the world they inhabit. It’s a silent force that can drive and change your characters, adding layers of complexity and pathos to their development. Here are some quick tips to write about characters experiencing loneliness.

Behaviour

• May avoid social interactions.
• Often choose to isolate themselves.
• A lack of enthusiasm for activities they once enjoyed.
• May appear distracted, distant, or aloof.
• Neglect their personal appearance or living space.
• Overuse technology or social media as a substitute for real-life interaction.
• Engage in one-sided conversations with pets or inanimate objects.
• Have a rigid routine that keeps them isolated.
• Live vicariously through fictional characters in books and on TV.
• Resist attempts by others to engage with them socially.

Interactions

• Conversations may be brief, superficial, and lacking in depth.
• Avoid eye contact and physically withdraw in social settings.
• Miss social cues or respond inappropriately during interactions.
• Exhibit envy or resentment towards those with strong social connections.
• Overly formal or distant, even with friends.
• React negatively to offers of companionship or help.
• Express a cynical or negative view of relationships and friendships.
• Display relief when social interactions are over.
• Deflect personal questions and redirect the conversation.
• Have a small social circle but lack a true confidant or intimate relationships.

Body language

• Slumped shoulders or lowered head to avoid drawing attention.
• Minimal or restrained gestures during conversations.
• A fixed or blank expression, showing their detachment.
• Fiddle with objects or their clothing as a self-soothing behaviour.
• Cross their arms or legs defensively when approached.
• Sit or stand at the edges of a group, physically distancing themselves.
• Might have a nervous tick or habit when faced with social interaction.
• Exhibit slow or lethargic movements, suggesting a lack of energy or interest.
• Have a personal bubble they are reluctant to let others penetrate.
• Usually the last to arrive and the first to leave social gatherings.

Attitude

• Express a philosophical or poetic view on the nature of solitude.
• Have an air of resignation or acceptance of their loneliness.
• Harbour a secret hope of finding connection, but feel it is unattainable.
• Quick to criticise or judge others as a defence mechanism.
• Have a deep internal world that is rich and complex, contrasting with their outer displays of loneliness.
• Believe that they are fundamentally different or disconnected from others.
• Have a strong sense of self-reliance, seeing it as a necessity.
• Demonstrate a fear of rejection or abandonment that prevents them from reaching out.
• Heightened sensitivity to the pain of others, stemming from their own loneliness.
• Experience moments of clarity or creativity when they are alone.

Positive story outcomes

• Find strength and independence in solitude.
• Experience personal growth and self-discovery.
• Form a meaningful connection that alleviates their loneliness.
• Gain a deeper understanding and empathy for the loneliness of others.
• Use their time alone to develop a skill or pursue a passion.
• Find that solitude allows for reflection and the development of a clear perspective.
• Inspire others to appreciate their own company and find peace in solitude.
• Become a catalyst for change, helping others to overcome their loneliness.
• Create a work of art or literature that expresses their feelings and connects with others.
• Their experiences of loneliness make their relationships more meaningful when they do occur.

Negative story outcomes

• Become increasingly detached and withdrawn from the world.
• Develop mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.
• Make poor decisions due to a lack of guidance and support.
• Grow to resent others, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.
• Spiral into destructive behaviours as a way to cope.
• Experience a sense of hopelessness about ever finding connection.
• Become distrustful of others, hindering potential relationships.
• Lose touch with social norms and struggle to reintegrate into society.
• Overlook or sabotage potential opportunities for companionship.
• Leave a lasting impression of sadness and regret in the narrative.

Helpful vocabulary

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